Sources within the White House have confirmed that President Trump ordered a military strike on Iran Thursday night, but it came to nothing at the very last second.
The President had ordered the strike and preparations were underway, when confirmation was sought as is normal for something of such grave consequence.
“At that moment a staffer appeared with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, which drew the President’s attention.”
Attempts to obtain confirmation of the order to attack were met with chewing sounds and an eventual waving of the hand indicating they should leave.
“He just wanted to be alone with that bucket, which, as a lover of deep fired chicken myself, I can understand.”
After that the moment appeared to have passed, and the matter was quietly dropped.
“The Islamic Republic of Iran is surely in the Colonel’s debt.”
Update: the idea that a KFC bucket prevented an attack on Iran has since been described as ridiculous, with sources now saying it was a Big Mac meal.