Kim Jong-un has said he is concerned for U.S. President Donald Trump, after not being insulted and derided by him in quite some time. Though Trump has been occupied by a range of other issues and controversies over the past week or two, Jong-un says he nevertheless usually finds time to stoke tensions in the Korean peninsula.
“It’s just not like him to go this long without threatening us with total annihilation.”
Using backchannels maintained by Rex Tillerson, the North Korean leader passed on his concerns that Trump is unwell, and expressed his wish that he recover as soon as possible.
“Despite being my mortal enemy, I think I like the dotard!”
Jong-un said he hopes whatever is keeping the U.S. President from making wild inflammatory denunciations is something minor – like a cold.
“May I recommend tea with honey and an anti-inflammatory pain reliever? And plenty of rest – remember unlike me you’re no spring chicken LOLZ #onlykidding #dictatorbuds”
He also ordered that all nuclear testing and missile launches be cancelled until they have evidence Trump is back to his old self.
“It’s kind of pointless if he’s not focused enough to overreact to it.”