North Korean leader Kim Jong-un is taking an impromptu vacation following a false missile strike warning issued by US Authorities that had much of the population of Hawaii fearing their lives were about to end:
“BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.”
The dramatic alert, sent directly to people’s cell phones, was reportedly a mistake that occurred when someone hit the wrong button during a shift change.
“Many thanks to whomever did this, and also to President Trump for priming everyone with inflammatory rhetoric.”
Jong-un said he is very happy for the assistance in disrupting the peace of mind of his sworn enemy, which will allow him to take some welcome time off from issuing threats himself.
“If you could also tell the residents of Guam they’re about to be vaporized that’d be great.”
He particularly praised the handling of the mistake after it was discovered, with no correction being issued for a full forty minutes which only increased the sense of panic.
“You guys like me. You really like me!”