Lions Who Killed Poacher Claim He Was Armed

A pack of lions were being demonized on social media today for killing a man, until a new twist emerged which changed everything.

“He had a firearm.”

The lions, speaking through their attorney, announced they will assert self-defense if prosecuted, as they had a reasonable expectation that their lives were in danger.

“If we hadn’t acted decisively, we might not be here now.”

Their case is reportedly strengthened by corroborating evidence from a witness.

“We have an antelope who says she saw everything.”

More tricky for the lions’ defense team will be explaining why they ate the man afterwards.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

57 Comments on "Lions Who Killed Poacher Claim He Was Armed"

  1. Are the lions from Detroit or Chicago?

  2. Robert L. Bennie | February 21, 2018 at 8:43 am | Reply

    Cops have been told that “I feared for my life” is their get out of murder free card. This shall pass when we stop training mentally unstable people to become peace keepers. I remember when a cop’s directives were to serve and protect, keep the peace, prevent crime and enforce the law in THAT order. The ‘militarization’ of local police forces is absurd and visually anathema. Street executions are un-american and inhuman.

  3. Sneffleberry Finn | February 21, 2018 at 7:05 am | Reply

    YEAH. OKAY. HAHA. GO LIONS.

    I WILL ASK YOU THIS QUESTION THOUGH:

    LET’S JUST SAY THAT THIS ARTICLE IS A METAPHOR OF SORTS… THE POACHER REPRESENTS AN EVIL MAN THAT IS LOOKING TO LOCATE, SHOOT, AND KILL MASSES OF INNOCENT PEOPLE, FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN BECAUSE HE WANTS TO. THE LIONS REPRESENT THOSE COMPLETELY INNOCENT PEOPLE THAT HE FINDS. NOW, SINCE THESE ARE HUMANS, AND NOT LIONS… HOW EXACTLY WOULD YOU EXPECT THEM TO HAVE ANY CHANCE OF PROTECTING AND DEFENDING THEMSELVES, IF NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAS A GUN?! PEPPERSPRAYS, TASERS, KNIVES, ETC. ARE NO MATCH FOR A FIREARM.

    (…BECAUSE IN THIS WONDERFUL VERSION OF AMERICA, THAT YOU ALL WANT SO BADLY, OWNING A FIREARM IS PROHIBITED)

    *AND PLEASE, DON’T GIVE ME THE RIDICULOUS ANSWER THAT “THE EVIL MAN WOULDN’T HAVE A GUN EITHER, BECAUSE THEY ARE BANNED!” BECAUSE THAT IS AN ASININE ANSWER. IT’S JUST AVOIDING THE ACTUAL QUESTION, AND TRYING TO SHUT DOWN THE TOPIC AT HAND, WITHOUT GIVING ANY KIND OF REAL, VALID, ANSWER. CRIMINALS WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE FIREARMS IF THEY SHOULD SO DESIRE, LEGAL OR NOT; THEY DON’T CARE. IF THERE IS A BAN ON FIREARMS… THE LAW WILL NOT KEEP ANY CRIMINAL FROM GETTING THEIR HANDS ON A GUN, AND MOVING FORWARD WITH THEIR INTENTIONS. BAD PEOPLE ARE BAD PEOPLE. IF YOU’RE WILLING TO SHOOT AND KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE, YOU SURE AS HELL DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO BREAK THE LAW IN ORDER TO GET A GUN.

    PLEASE, I TRULY WANT TO KNOW ALL OF YOUR ANSWERS. I WANT TO BETTER UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT OF VIEW!

  4. Pedro Velazquez | February 20, 2018 at 9:01 pm | Reply

    I think they have a solid Stand Your Ground defense.

  5. I need the address for these lions because I want to send them each a bag of treats for a job WELL DONE!! GOOD kitties!

  6. What goes around comes around!Stop killing animals for sport.

  7. The man was not eaten to destroy the evidence ! When man kills something on the road he is expected to take it home and eat it. It’s called Road Kill ! They said out of respect for the dead Leave the head for the family n friends !

  8. WOOHOO! GO LIONS!

  9. “Until lions have their own storytellers the tale will always be told by the hunters” African Proverb…I guess the lions can tell their own truths now.

  10. Junk food really will give you indigestion

  11. Sterling & Susan Richards | February 17, 2018 at 8:18 pm | Reply

    It may sound cruel, but I am loving this story, and all the comments. It’s about time the animal won. WooHoo!

  12. It may sound cruel, but, I am loving this story and all these comments. It’s about time the animals won. lmao…

  13. Why they ate the man ? Well that’s simple to explain … Lions do not litter … so they had to eat the man. Has anyone ever seen garbage in the jungle ?

  14. jeanette voisin | February 17, 2018 at 5:40 pm | Reply

    If you feel bad take tums

  15. They’re still pissed off about the killing of CECIL…..Lions don’t forget !!! Stop the poaching idiots !!!

  16. The monkey in the tree above them notified them of the approaching danger and they were able to subdue the attacker to protect there Wives and Family…as well as provide a meal

  17. Good on you, lions. Keep up the great work!

  18. You just can’t take that lion down!

  19. POACHED HUNTER IS PROBABLY ON THE SAVANNAH MENU NOW. THING IS, THE HUNTER CLEARLY THOUGHT THAT HE WAS AHEAD OF THE GAME, AND IT TURNS OUT HE WAS DEAD RIGHT!

  20. Asked if they couldn’t have just walked away, the lion’s attorney replied “Not these lions. They have their pride.”

  21. I was always told not to kill anything I would not eat, they were just doing the right thing and not littering the jungle with a pesky poacher’s body

  22. Even if the dead poacher was a poor man working for the main bad guys, this may make it harder to fill the job position in the future.

  23. These Lions are totally innocent. Self defence is no offence, even if the aggressor tasted good.

  24. These Lions are innocent. Self defence is no offence, even if the aggressor tasted good.

  25. Can’t say it’s not justice, but often if not always, the poachers who do the killing are poor members of the surrounding communities who are desperate for work and hired by those who would never risk their own lives, but seek to make huge profits. Not sure if it’s true for lions, but it’s certainly true for those who hunt elephants.

  26. If this goes to trial…I hope I get on the jury. This should teach those poachers what happens when they run around carrying guns. AND hey….if you’re going to kill something, it really should be eaten, not wasted…………LOVE IT!

  27. Roxan H. Caillet | February 15, 2018 at 5:13 pm | Reply

    Thanks for the pants peeing comments on here! You guys have made my day! Go Lions (all of them, whether lying or not!)

  28. Neill Peterson | February 15, 2018 at 1:07 pm | Reply

    No law against eating carrion — that’s part of what lions do. Eat dead things.

  29. Ive seen photos here of hunted Cougars. Im a prophet me and 10 others saw fires in the entire sky.in amazing!!!visions. Everything is going to change.God sainted me for donating the 4th antiviral peg interferon 1989.170.000.000 people saved or more.we will win

  30. Have they really been “demonized” on social media, or…lionized?

  31. The poacher was easy prey for the pride of lions , just grab him before he can press the trigger and the meal will be tastier than the tough buffalo meat.
    Good lesson to other would be poachers . Change your career , Now !

  32. Gordon Bellinger | February 15, 2018 at 12:48 am | Reply

    And this is how Narratives are created, whether false or somewhat true. Lol
    What do you think?

  33. The lions demanded a jury of their peers. After only a few hours of deliberation, the tigers, jaguars, and leopards found the lions innocent of all charges and sent them back to the jungle.

  34. Spoke to the defense lawyers, apparently prosecution cannot prove intent, as it was only self defense and therefore there was no mens rea and that actus reus cannot be applied on an involuntary act of defense. The counsel for the defendant will be claiming the disposal of evidence is of cultural significance of “waste not, want not”.

  35. I don’t know how the defense will go, after all they shouldn’t have tried to get rid of the evidence.

  36. Lions 1 Poacher 0

  37. A Poacher a is poacher is a poacher… End of story, no case here. Certainly no harm, no foul. Go Lions!

  38. Vincient Williams | February 14, 2018 at 8:30 pm | Reply

    Way down in the jungle deep. The bad ass lion got some poaching asshole to eat.

  39. I am on the Lions side no question! It’s the jungle, be eaten or get eaten. I talked to the Antelope (who saw it all), the poacher was getting ready to shoot. Thank God a lion saw him, and jumped him!! Eating was just after thought. The Lions are definitely innocent! They should sue the family of the poacher for their injuries.

  40. ” We’re hungry for trump jrs.”…

  41. I’m joining the Lion’s Club, I’m so proud of them.

  42. They did it on purpose. Those felions are lion. And the antelope that claim to have seen the whole thing is probably lion also.
    We want Justice for Elmer!!

  43. The African jungle is “Stand your ground” territory, y’all!

  44. Lion Live Matter! You go Lions!

  45. The poacher was trespassing and “to bad so sad” for him…. One up for the lions. It is about time they fought back against the dam poachers…. you go lions and others in the jungle!!!!

  46. Hi lions you did very well. Waste no time. Eat any one holding that crazy metal things, especially the creatures walking on two legs.

  47. They ate the man because their mom told them never to waste food. She would say, “Think of all the starving lions in Africa “.

  48. Technically, lions mark their territory which could be several sq miles. And the law of the jungle, in this case savannah… Is dibs on intruders. So the lions have that right to eat anything that moves. I am not an attorney but I grew up in a barrio that pretty much followed the same rules.

  49. Speaking on behalf of all vegans – this is justice. ALL hunters should be eaten!

  50. LION “self-advocacy”!!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.