As it waits to be battered by hurricane Barry, the State of Louisiana has let President Trump know it is well stocked with paper products to mop up the damage.

“It’s a nice thought if you were planning on coming here to throw Bounty rolls at our heads but it’s really not necessary.”

If he is determined so see the damage for himself, residents recommend Trump view it from a plane like George W Bush did after Katrina.

“We know we criticized him for that but we’ve come to realize it’s the best way to show you care. The best by far.”

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