The President has seen an exodus from his legal team forcing him to retain new counsel, which is proving far more difficult that anticipated according to inside sources.
“Turns out when you don’t pay or reimburse people they get wary, even lawyers.”
Things got even worse today, when Trump failed to convince Lionel Hutz, Esq. to take him on as a client, someone the President was sure would be willing.
“The guy literally runs after ambulances, but this was a step too far even for him.”
Trump even offered Hutz, who normally works on a contingency basis, substantial cash upfront, but that soon backfired.
“Trump showed him a suitcase with $130,000 in it, and Hutz just ran out of the room.”
The President has reportedly moved on to his backup plan, which is to take a cue from Hutz by bingewatching Matlock so he can defend himself.