Mar-A-Lago Resort Assures Everyone Its Meals-On-Wheels Program Is Not Being Cancelled

Image credit: Flickr user PortoBay Hotels & Resorts license CC BY-ND 2.0.

(Palm Beach, FL) The Mar-a-Lago resort rushed to quell concerns today that its meals-on-wheel program is being eliminated.

“Please don’t worry as this is absolutely not the case.”

The rumor that the popular program was being cancelled appears to have started in Washington DC, but management wish to reassure the nation it will not be axed or scaled back in any way.

“We realize the important of the meals-on-wheels program to ensure that people who don’t feel like walking to the dining room or terrace cafes are properly nourished.”

The other critical element of the meals-on-wheels program, they say, is the chance for social contact in what can be a very lonely world.

“The benefits of someone being able to verbally condescend to our staff as they deliver a delicious hot meal cannot be overstated.”

Despite criticism that the meals-and-wheels program is not worth the trouble, Mar-a-Lago management say it would be sorely missed if gone, including by the President himself when he’s in residence every single weekend.

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9 Comments on "Mar-A-Lago Resort Assures Everyone Its Meals-On-Wheels Program Is Not Being Cancelled"

  1. jerome pickus | March 23, 2017 at 3:45 pm | Reply

    I hope those “poor” people at Mar A Lago Resort aren’t hurt by this turn of events.They deserve to be fed, even if its in their room. Please do not let them go unfed or they will be devastated. I can’t go on with this, I’m wetting myself.

  2. “Mar-a-Lagoville”

    Nibblin’ on sponge cake,
    Watchin’ the earth bake;
    All of those sheiks sittin’ on oil.
    Strokin’ my Android on my front porch swing.
    Readin’ my critics-
    They’re makin’ my blood boil.

    Wasted away again in Mar-a-Lagoville,
    Searchin’ for my lost letters from the Right Alt.
    Some people claim that Putin’s to blame,
    But I know it’s Obama’s fault.

    They accuse me of treason,
    So I’ll stay here all season
    With nothing to show but this awesome orange ‘do.
    –it’s a real beaut’!
    Wait! How’d that Mexican get in here?
    I haven’t a clue.

    Wasted away again in Mar-a-Lagoville,
    Fearin’ I’ll soon be caught.
    Some people claim that Putin’s to blame,
    Now I think, – hell it’s the media’s fault.

    I blew out my cheeto top,
    My agenda’s a huge flop;
    Surrounded by heels, have to cruise on back home.
    Bannon’s on a bender,
    And soon I’ll surrender
    ‘Cause even I think I need to be stopped.

    Wasted away again in Mar-a-Lagoville
    Wonderin’ what the hell I have wrought.
    Some people claim that there’s Hillary to blame,
    But I know, (but I’ll never admit it), it’s my own damn fault.
    Yet some people claim that horrible, sick people are to blame,
    And I know it’s my own damn fault

    (T.Albert with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)

  3. Dorothy Parker | March 20, 2017 at 9:50 pm | Reply

    Isn’t this how the French Revolution started?

  4. Alex Gonzales | March 20, 2017 at 3:34 pm | Reply

    Wow even I who am republican care for kids and senior citizens.

  5. Too bad that it isn’t being scaled back…the seniors and the kids really want to know that the folks there are fed and treated with all the respect that is possible since they themselves have no meals and no lunches. What a crime! I am embarrassed to have a president like this person.. but watch out! What goes around comes around and it will be coming around sooner than later.

  6. May Mar-a-Lago be hit by the worst noro-virus known to man and may it be resistant to all anti-biopics!!! This will be a punishment for the evil this Reptile known as Donald Trump is is waging against the poor, our veterans and the down-trodden! It is also a punishment for his constant lies and selling out his country to Russia!!!

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