Marie Kondo Advises Throwing Out Relatives That No Longer Bring You Joy

Image credit: 'Marie Kondo speaking' by Flickr user RISE license CC BY 2.0.

Netflix has a new hit on its hands, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, that Americans simply can’t get enough of.

“Her tips are so great – especially the one about clearing out musty old books and relatives that are cluttering up your home.”

Kondo, the Japanese organizing consultant behind the KonMari method of keeping things neat and tidy, is proving hugely popular, especially with those prone to hoarding old newspapers and other junk like cantankerous family members.

“Just throw them out – it may hurt at first but you’ll get over it in no time!”

Kondo also has sage advice geared towards newlyweds, who may be inexperienced in managing a home.

“Just go with your gut when designing a layout. If you don’t like it after a few months, simply throw out your furniture and spouse and start again!”

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46 Comments on "Marie Kondo Advises Throwing Out Relatives That No Longer Bring You Joy"

  1. Some of these comments are confusing lol. You can’t “throw out a toxic family member” if you’re the toxic family member that they “threw” out to begin with lol. Some of you wrote a list of things that your family member didn’t do for you and judged you so you eventually threw them out of your life. Dont you think that maybe they didn’t help you because you were the toxic one? It’s the family member that keeps coming around no matter how nice you are or helpful to them, they still ask and take advantage and then bully you or attack you if you are unable to help. They will taint your character to other family members because you didn’t give in to their requests due to their unhappiness. That’s a toxic relative.

    • Wow, you hit the nail on the head with this one.
      Also to note- her comments about throwing out family are just jest, and not to be taken seriously. Why are people seriously listening to this?

  2. I called my twin sister from Manhattan on 9/11. She couldn’t talk long, as my skyline was burning as I walked downtown against the sea of millions on the street, because her college roommate needed the only phone on Akron’s campus to call her boyfriend in Pennsylvania. She went on to argue how she was also in danger, since University of Alron apparently has a science building on the terrorists watch list. Years later, I called her when I was trying to find a rehab facility and wanted to kill myself. Twin sis claimed to not know I had a problem, despite my years of honesty with it, and hung up me. She married her first husband, who was a bit of a loader, and they went through tough financial times. I sent money no questions asked. When my best friend was sexually assaulted in Jamaica last year, I emailed to ask for a loan so I could bribe the security to help keep us safe as we were being followed on the beach outside our resort (jamaica is a very ant-gay place and I’m gay), she didn’t respond but informed the whole family about it and suggested that’s what I deserved for taking my first vacation ever as a 36-year old man. I then blocked her on Facebook. I was recently arrested and called her from jail to ask if her second husband, the lawyer, could defend me or recommend someone who could. She said she wasn’t sure she wanted him to after how I took the news of her marrying the cheating bastard. While they were dating I was there to support and lend an ear and shoulder for the many crying hours she needed to vent. She married him on a Monday after our father had prostate surgery the previous Friday to remove cancer (my dad couldn’t go to the wedding and, per my suggestion, our older brother stayed home to look after him while twin sister partied in white). I got a much better lawyer and haven’t talked to her since. It’s tough, cause I loved her so much, but she does nothing but bring judgement and pain and thinks only of herself. She didn’t even visit our generous father in the hospital. Au revoir!

  3. I called my twin sister from Manhattan on 9/11. She had to let me go so her roommate could call her boyfriend in Pennsylvania. Years later, I called her when I was trying to find a rehab facility and wanted to kill myself. Twin sis claimed to not know I had a problem, despite my years of honesty with it, and hung up me. She married a jerk and they went through tough financial times, I sent money no questions asked. When my best friend was sexually assaulted in Jamaica last year, I emailed to ask for a loan so I could bribe the security to keep us safe (jamaica is a very ant-gay place and I’m gay), she didn’t respond but informed the whole family about it and suggested that’s what I deserved for taking my first vacation ever as a 36-yew4 old man. I then blocked her on Facebook. I was recently arrested and called her from jail to ask if her second husband, the lawyer, could defend me or recommend someone who could. She said she wasn’t sure she wanted him to after how I took the news of her marrying the cheating bastard; while they were dating I was there to support and lend an ear and shoulder for the manycrying hours she needed. She married him on a Monday after our father had prostate surgery to remove cancer (my dad couldn’t go and, per my suggestion, our older brother stayed home to look after him while twin sister partied in white). I got a much better lawyer and haven’t talked to her since. It’s tough, cause I loved her so much, but she does nothing but bring judgement and pain and thinks only of herself. She didn’t even visit our generous father in the hospital. Au revoir!

  4. I live in eastern Penn…..is this still satirical for me?

  5. I divorced my ex after only 6 months of a super sucks marriage, had a big big fight with my siblings afterwards they throw me out from the family. Apparantly in my country, people still think and feel ashamed about what will people say with my decision. Well, life is too short. I have no regret, and after throwing out all those rotten relationships, even with my siblings, I feel really really much better and I enjoy my life more !

  6. Throw out relatives that make you unhappy?
    What a good idea!
    Look out for low-flying brother..!
    Ahhhhh, that’s better…

  7. From seeing the caption regarding “throwing out”, I INSTANTLY agreed. Then I start reading the comments, and they became ugly, but I also started seeing some of you informing people this was a satirical post… …I had to look up the term, and I realized, SOME OF YOU OTHERS SHOULD TOO BEFORE RESPONDING TO OTHERS PEOPLE’S COMMENTS BASHING THEM FOR HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR, IN A WORLD THAT’S SO FULL OF HATRED..

  8. Unfortunately in the state I live in you have to go through the process of filing eviction procedures which take months. I think the homeless shelters are too full. Takes away the sheer delight of spontaneous tossing out of belongings and rude coinhabitants! This is true even if they are ungrateful leeches. Think hard before you take in someone. There is usually a good reason they are homeless!

  9. I’ve done it several times. Look people family is only a biological chain . Chemistry is what loves you and what you love. I’ve put up with far too much pain and have finally drawn a line and enough is enough. I’m 51 now so my filters are off. Dont dick me around or piss me off. Il not have any of it . Life is too short . Life is precious !

  10. No satire, here. I actually did this with a parent. For reals. My life feels SO much better.

  11. Just fold your unruly children in half and in half again, then in thirds and stand them up in the drawer.

  12. My mother did not want to meet my new girlfriend – wrong color… dropped her!

    MY sister refused to help find a lawyer in her town for me …she refused as she judged my case …dropped her!

    Ex-wife thought gambling would make the family fortune – I was left bankrupt… dropped her!!

    Told the daughter to start acting like a daughter – not a driver/wallet for her … dropped her…!

    Threw out all the Pharma crap also….

    I may be alone and lonely – but at leasty I am no longer angry all day….

  13. Honestly, rings true even if it’s satire. Got rid of my wife and kids a couple of months ago. They had terrible negativity and were taking a toll on my mental health. Never been happier!

    • If you helped make the kids you are forever tied to them and can’t just throw them out. That makes you a worthless father. This is coming from a kid who didn’t have a dad.

      • I see a point on both sides. (If any of it is true) If the ex wife was toxic and turned the kids against him I can see how that would ruin someone’s mental health. With my narcissistic mother and the way she had my sister and I thinking, I don’t see why my dad DIDN’T blow his brains out when I was a kid. On the other hand, it really does mess up a kid not to have a father (figure) that shows they give a $#*+ in their lives.

  14. People forget this is a satirical blog….now who’s the dumb ass

  15. Ew. What a dumb ho.

  16. Life is not jus about you and what you want to do. Be considerate whatever you throw. Think before you act. You could have been thrown away right from the start.

  17. This is true. Throw away all things that does not add VALUE to you. Both Things and People 😁😁😁

  18. Throwed my parents away 10years ago…

  19. Leonard Anthony Arcilla | January 22, 2019 at 1:39 am | Reply

    This is really effective. Useless relatives that do not bring you joy should be thrown out. It really worked for me.

  20. Kelvin Merrick | January 21, 2019 at 10:00 am | Reply

    Karma – what goes out comes back.

  21. This may be satire, but it’s great advice.

  22. It may be satire, but there’s a ring of truth underneath the satire! Coming from someone with toxic relatives that I’ve had to cut out of my life to protect my kids. :/

  23. So true asleigh!

  24. This article is Satire. Don’t take it seriously you idiots.

  25. Ngee..dili oi, try to repair muna… family if forever dili pd proke pasaway mama or papa or kapatid then i salikway na…. no, carry your cross and follow me as Jesus said…. keep praying lang, help the needy basi kulang lng sa attention,,

  26. SOCIOPATH: a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

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