Speaking about the shooting in a Boulder Colorado grocery store in which 10 people died, Mitch McConnell has said the assailant was clearly mentally ill, but it was impossible to predict in advance who would do such a thing. Though some people without McConnell’s astute insight said that argues for tightening gun laws generally, the former majority leader said today that overlooks the many means for mass killing available.

“A determined individual could still have killed that many people by running them over with shopping carts, especially if they were loaded up with heavy stuff like cat litter first.”

In fact, McConnell argued, the location of the incident in a grocery store provided multiple opportunities for the accused to engage in mass murder even if he didn’t have a civilian version of a military-grade weapon at his disposal.

“He could have mopped the floor and not put yellow CAUTION signs in the aisles – thereby causing multiple shoppers to fall and possibly break their necks.”

In the end, McConnell said we should be thankful the disturbed young man was content with his easily procured AR-15 as his only means of killing.

“If he wasn’t so preoccupied with human target practice, he could have put on a white coat and, pretending to be a pharmacist, given seniors multiple medications that aren’t supposed to be taken together, possibly leading to a bad interaction and even death!”