(PNC Park) News that star hitter Andrew McCutchen is leaving for the Giants may sadden Pirates fans, but owner Bob Nutting says there is every reason to feel optimistic about the future.

“With Cutch gone, I can now afford to hold even more promotional evenings where we thrust cheaply made bobbleheads at you on the way into PNC Park.”

While noting that the team has done well on the field during the McCutchen era compared to the lean years before, Nutting says the real improvements have been in the area of tacky giveaways.

“During a losing season you can end up with Pirates umbrellas, jump ropes, t shirts, mini bats, camo socks and lots lots more. And there’s always next year to restock when they fall apart.”

Nutting says he has a dream where Pirates fans will one day be constantly bombarded with cheap franchise-themed products they don’t need nor want.

“And if that can only be achieved by doing away with baseball altogether, then so be it.”