Mike Pence Categorically Denies That Mike Pence Exists

"No such person" ~Mike Pence [Image credit: ‘Mike Pence’ by Flickr user Gage Skidmore license CC BY-SA 2.0]

Seemingly encouraged by the success of his debate strategy of blatantly denying what is evidently true, Mike Pence frustrated reporters today by emphatically denying the existence of a person called Mike Pence.

“This talk of a ‘Mike Pence’ is an invidious rumor spread by the Clinton campaign.”

The media got no further when they tried to sidestep that issue and ask the Indiana Governor about his actions in office.

“There is no State of Indiana. States have names like California and maybe Idaho, but never Indiana. As for me being a ‘Governor’, you will find no such noun in the English language.”

Trump supporters responded enthusiastically to the Republican VP nominee, especially when he tackled the New York Times correspondent’s difficult questions by denying the reality of the New York Times correspondent, or the New York Times, or New York, or new stuff.

“Everything is old. There is no new.”

Reporters fared little better when they attempted to follow up with Democratic VP nominee Tim Kaine, as he has now taken to interrupting everyone as soon as they open their mouth by yelling gibberish at them.

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