In a further sign that the Democrats have made a more compelling case for removing President Trump than Republicans expected, Vice President Mike Pence was caught practicing something in front of a mirror today, according to an anonymous source.
“He kept saying ‘No, I won’t pardon you’ over and over.”
Pence was reported to ‘be in a tizzy’ once he received reports that GOP Senators Susan Collins, Mitt Romney, Lisa Murkowski, and Lamar Alexander were paying close attention and taking copius notes during the House Managers’ presentation of the case against the President.
“VEEP simply can’t sit still right now.”
They believe Pence is terrified that, should he be gifted the Preisdency, he will poison the chalice by agreeing to give Trump a pardon, causing him to be reviled and unelectable.
“He’s obviously worried he’ll choke when the time comes.”
Pence has denied the reports, saying he was just practicing for when he had to confront Mother for failing to be pious enough. Those close to him aren’t buying it, though.
“Obviously the real reason is because he knows he has to break this bootlicking mentality towards Trump that he’s maintained for so long.”