As speculation continued on who the senior Trump official was who wrote an anonymous New York Times editorial describing how he or she is resisting the President’s worst impulses from within, Vice President Mike Pence held a press conference today to categorically deny it was him.
“No it was not me, and I apologize as there appears to be something in my eye.”
As Pence continued to wink frantically in an effort to dislodge the irritant, reporters asked why he appeared to be dressed like the character ‘Rey’ from Star Wars. Pence replied that he was on his way to a cosplay event and had simply grabbed the first thing to hand at the costume store.
“I could just as easily be standing here dressed as a Disney princess instead of a lone fighter struggling to keep the Republic safe in desperate times.”
When it was put to the Vice-President that the use of the word ‘lodestar’ in the piece suggested it was him, he dismissed that as being far from conclusive.
“Yes I do like to use that word a lot, but so does Senator McCain, so the leaker could just as easily be him.”
Pence concluded the press conference by making a number of obscure hand gestures and saying it’s going to be okay, without ever clarifying what ‘it’ is.
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