Millions Of Cases Of Irish Flu To Be Tragically Wasted On A Sunday This Year

Sean has a plan that involves obscene amounts of alcohol.

It’s St. Patrick’s Day – a time to celebrate all that is Irish that involves drinking like there’s no tomorrow. But there is a bitter side to this year’s fun since it falls on a Saturday.

“Tragically, this means millions of cases of the Irish flu are destined to go to waste.”

For Orla Fitzgerald from Dublin, who is now an office worker in downtown Pittsburgh, PA, St. Paddy’s day doesn’t just mean an evening of getting off her head like you wouldn’t believe, but also paid time off work the next day – except this year which she says is complete arse-over-tit bollocks.

“Half the fun is calling work the next morning with a pretend cough and getting the day off lounging in bed nursing my hangover while earning money for it.”

But there are a few gallant partiers who have a plan to salvage the situation, like auto mechanic Seamus Flynn, who despite his name is actually 100% American.

“I plan to stay blitzed for 48 hours solid then call in sick on Monday.”

Good on you, Sean.

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