CBS is saying it is pleased with the viewing figures it received for its 60 minutes interview of Stormy Daniels by Anderson Cooper, though a backlash may be looming after Nielsen figures reveal many were first time viewers of the show who normally exclusively watch Pornhub on their laptops.

Though confused at first, many stuck with the show for a long time before realizing they were being taken for a ride other than the one they were expected.

“Even when Stormy stayed seated and just talked I was sure she would do the Basic Instinct thing any second at which point the white-hired guy would whip out his massive dong and start pounding.”

Many viewers had not in fact watched broadcast television before, only starting this week after learning it would feature a popular pornstar who would be holding nothing back.

“I kept waiting for the babysitter to show up and receive her ‘instructions’ but guess what? No 18-year-old in boy shorts and tube socks ever appeared.”

Sadly, it appears the new viewers may be lost for good.

“Good luck trying to fap to CBS because I sure can’t.”