(The White House) A guilty-looking Joe Biden was caught emerging from the Oval Office with a saw in his hand by a member of the press today. Biden confessed to the pool reporter that he had sawn through all the chair legs the Trump administration will be using and asked if she was going to tell on him. She assured the Vice-President that his secret was safe with her.

President Obama overheard the conversation and ordered that all the affected chairs be repaired, but changed his mind when he saw this tweet by the President-elect:

“All he has to do is scoot that huge butt of his and he’ll be on the floor!” said a gleeful Biden, who is also reportedly working on a plan to empty the official White House toothpaste tubes and refill them with mayo.