Mitch McConnell Moves Impeachment Trial To South Pole

Senator Mitch McConnell has said he has listened to concerns that he is trying to relegate important parts of President Trump’s Impeachment Trial to the middle of the night and indicated he is more than willing to compromise.

“I understand that people don’t want critical parts of this process taking place when it’s dark out which is why I’ve changed the venue.”

Given that it is winter in the Northern Hemispehere, the South Pole is currently experiencing continuous daylight. McConnell says he is already en-route there via military transport and will allow witnesses to be heard as soon as he arrives.

“Don’t say I haven’t bent over backwards to make this a fair process.”

He said if any Republican Senators coming via sea have difficulty getting there, they just need to ask for help.

“There are plenty of Russian icebreakers on standby to ensure you get here in time.”

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