(Moscow, Russian Federation) In a short statement the Kremlin has announced that Senator Mitch McConnell has been selected as its Most Valuable Player (MVP) in the Impeachment Trial of President Trump. Officials said McConnell gave an unmatched preformance, even though he was competing with many other star players for the award.
“It’s not even a contest really.”
In awarding the honor, the Kremlin cited McConnell’s tireless work ethic and ability to make game-changing plays that skirt the rules or ignore them altogether.
“We knew he had the right stuff ever since we scouted him during the Merrick Garland SCOTUS nomination.”
In addition to receiving the MVP trophy, McConnell will also receive an undisclosed monetary prize and an all-expenses paid trip to Moscow for a lavish ceremony.
“We can also discuss our plans for him for the coming year then too.”
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