A record audience is expected to watch the 2015 Video Musics Awards to see their favorite stars. As a special treat, MTV has announced that this year’s show will feature live fucking.
“That’s right. Live fucking. 9pm/8pm Central.”
The decision to include live fucking was prompted by the sharp decline in viewership of the relatively tame 2014 MTV Video Music Awards as compared to the 2013 show which contained some very convincing simulated fucking by Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke.
“We were clearly being sent a message.”
MTV executives were determined that this year’s VMAs needed to top even the 2013 highpoint in terms of shock value, and that could only mean one thing – live fucking. Initially, there were concerns that the FCC would prove an insurmountable obstacle, but their response couldn’t have been more positive.
“There is a line here but it’s one we’ve clearly crossed already. I can’t imagine live fucking being any more shocking than what we have already allowed. If anything it’s more honest.”
With government approval in the bag, it only remained to see if the performers would be game. That also proved much easier than anticipated, since once a rumor spread that one nominee was considering it, all the other nominees jumped on the bandwagon so as not to appear behind the times.
“At this point the question is who won’t be live fucking at this year’s VMAs.”
Some of the organizers admitted feeling nostalgia for an earlier, more innocent time, when Lawrence Welk’s dance numbers, and Justin Timberlake ripping Janet Jackson’s bra off, were considered risqué.
“I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid now.
For now, everyone’s looking forward to this year’s live fucking. But the show organizers know that soon they will be stuck trying to figure out how to top this year’s show in 2016.
“It’s a challenge. Maybe a category for snuff videos.”
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