Special Counsel Robert Mueller privately confirmed today what many had long suspected – that he has someone high up in the Trump Administration helping him with his investigation.

“I don’t want to give him away, but let’s just say each time he opens his mouth it’s a great help.”

In order to protect the identities of all involved, direct meetings never take place, with the information flow hidden in plain sight on social media instead.

“Despite these restrictions, my source keeps coming up with killer stuff that will prove invaluable when it comes time to bring this investigation to a conclusion.”

Mueller is confident the insider can remain anonymous, as he follows all the steps a seasoned agent in the field would take.

“He’s very good at confusing people as to his true intentions, since to the casual observer he just seems like a buffoon whose interests don’t extend beyond getting back on the golf course as soon as possible. The perfect mole, in other words.”