Numerous members of the Democratic Party are hospitalized today – with many in traction – after a ‘trust fall’ exercise on the steps of the Capitol went horribly wrong this morning. Intended as a team building event to bolster party unity, it involved each member falling backwards and trusting their colleague to catch them. The problem arose when West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin stepped aside instead of catching AOC, causing her serious injury.

“He made it very clear that he would catch her, and then he does this.”

Manchin assured everyone he simply hadn’t understood the exercise at first, he asked to have another go, only to watch passively as Cory Booker broke his back on the hard concrete. With Manchin pleading ‘no really I get it now – you catch the person so they don’t fall’ he was allowed to try one more time, leading to Chuck Schumer suffering a severe concussion.

“Not only did he not catch him, I think he kicked him afterwards.”

Asked about the incident later, Manchin had a different take on events, insisting he was attacked by his fellow Democrats who attempted to assault him by falling backwards on top of him.

“I try my best to be helpful, and this is what they do.”

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