NASA Finds Conditions To Support Unpleasant Celebrity-Obsessed Culture On Moon of Saturn

A small moon of the planet Saturn has the conditions necessary to support life, reports NASA.

As revealed by the Cassini probe, Enceladus contains a sub-surface ocean with minerals and thermal heat vents that scientists say are exactly what is needed to seed life.

“This is a perfect environment for simple carbon-based organisms to develop, which could then evolve into distasteful bi-pedals that think shows like The Bachelor and Rob & Chyna should exist.”

The discovery could finally mean that we are not alone in the universe, as the tiny Saturnian satellite could one day host intelligent life other than homo sapiens.

“At which point they will presumably do their best to destroy it for short term gain without any regard to their ongoing survival.”

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