NASA Finds Venus May Have Supported A Trashy Celebrity Culture In Its Past

A climate modeling study has shown Venus may have been habitable in the past, according to NASA’s Planetary Science Astrobiology program.

“Venus may have been habitable for 2 billion years, which is theoretically long enough for life to appear and evolve to produce a horrendous show like The Bachelor.”

They say it’s entirely possible life similar to that here on Earth could have appeared there first.

“A Venusian Kim Kardashian would have been slightly taller due to the lower surface gravity, but very similar in all other respects.”

Whatever trivial pop culture Venus once hosted is history now, though the cause of its demise remains unclear.

“Maybe carbon dioxide levels got too high, or maybe Venusian society advanced to the point where it handed control of advanced weapons systems over to mentally unstable Reality TV stars. Obviously we still have a lot to learn about our closest neighbor.”

And just as we wonder about Venus now, others may wonder about us in the future.

“Maybe someday when we are long gone, Saturnians will ask themselves what kind of god-awful fickle society once roamed the Earth.”

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