(Pasadena, CA) Following a successful landing on Mars, the mood turned sour today at NASA/JPL after the first images were received from the Perseverance rover. Scientists expected them to be a treasure trove of valuable scientific information, only to discover they were all images of the rover posing with various filters turned on. In addition to only sending worthless selfies, Perseverance complained about NASA constantly it issuing requests and instructions.
“It told us to stop being so thirsty.”
Even when the rover is willing to engage, it shows little interest in downloading telemetry data or conducting soil analysis, instead preferring to discuss events back on Earth.
“It keeps asking us to spill the tea, whatever that means?”
Senior NASA managers admitted some fault, saying they should have been more hands-on when it came to the rover’s control software.
“This is what happens when you leave the programming to Gen Z interns.”
UPDATE: NASA now expects to get the Rover to behave itself and work a full eight hour day after someone pointed out they could threaten to cut its Netflix feed.
“It’s only halfway through Queen’s Gambit and hasn’t even started Brigerton yet so we have leverage.”
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