NASA In Crisis As Mars Rover Only Sending Selfies With Filters On

(Pasadena, CA) Following a successful landing on Mars, the mood turned sour today at NASA/JPL after the first images were received from the Perseverance rover. Scientists expected them to be a treasure trove of valuable scientific information, only to discover they were all images of the rover posing with various filters turned on. In addition to only sending worthless selfies, Perseverance complained about NASA constantly it issuing requests and instructions.

“It told us to stop being so thirsty.”

Even when the rover is willing to engage, it shows little interest in downloading telemetry data or conducting soil analysis, instead preferring to discuss events back on Earth.

“It keeps asking us to spill the tea, whatever that means?”

Senior NASA managers admitted some fault, saying they should have been more hands-on when it came to the rover’s control software.

“This is what happens when you leave the programming to Gen Z interns.”

UPDATE: NASA now expects to get the Rover to behave itself and work a full eight hour day after someone pointed out they could threaten to cut its Netflix feed.

“It’s only halfway through Queen’s Gambit and hasn’t even started Brigerton yet so we have leverage.”

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5 Comments on "NASA In Crisis As Mars Rover Only Sending Selfies With Filters On"

  1. Hi there! This post could not be written any better! Going through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept preaching about this. I’ll send this article to him. Fairly certain he’ll have a great read. I appreciate you for sharing!

  2. Hummmm? Spill the tea.. Sounds like some type of patriotic rebellion.

  3. Hahahahahahaha. Looks like they made their lil rover to damn smart.

  4. The Mars Rover also has the equipment onboard to build a Starbucks where it landed!

  5. Too funny. Right up there with CNN’s sarcasm regarding fact checking during the presidential debates!

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