The equine population of the United States is said to be highly agitated following the release of picture by North Korean State media showing Kim Jong-un atop a white horse riding through snow-covered mountains.
“Nothing will calm them.”
Their concern is that this, coupled with previous pictures of Vladimir Putin riding a horse bare-chested, will convince Trump this is something all apsiring ruthless dictators need to do.
“They’re drawing straws to determine who will be sacrificed first.”
The overweight US President is not known to be an expert rider, which only increases the horses’ fears he will cause them great injury or worse.
“And when something goes wrong you know he’s going to blame us for it.”
Many wild horses are said to already be fleeing for Mexico and Canada just in case.
“If there’s a wall in the way we’ll simply go over it like any human would.”