Nation’s Popcorn Supply ‘Critically Low’ As House Begins Impeachment Hearings

Food industry experts have warned that the United States is woefully unprepared in terms of popcorn supplies for what it is currently facing.

“Demand for popcorn has never been higher.”

The problem, they say, is that even more popcorn will be needed now that the House of Representatives has begin formal impeachment proceedings.

“Considering how much we’re already going through because of UkraineGate and Rudy Giuliani that’s a whole lot a of popcorn.”

Attempts to source more popcorn from other countries are proving futile, with the United Kingdom also trying to get hold of what little that’s going.

“The Brits are running low too, and need everything they have as they follow their own train wrecks like Brexit and having Boris Johnson as Prime Minister.”

People are advised to turn to other snacks if possible. Failing that, it might become necessary to dip into the strategic popcorn reserve that was established in the wake of the Iran-Contra affair in the 1980s.

“Unfortunately the only person who can issue the order to release it is El Cheetoh himself.”

22 Comments on "Nation’s Popcorn Supply ‘Critically Low’ As House Begins Impeachment Hearings"

  1. Just remember when it comes time to vote in 2020!
    Remember all the hyperbole, nefarious “witnesses” they have produced. Then it should be required viewing for how not to rule as a congressman (or Woman). I cannot tell you how disgusting this whole sham has been for the length of President Trumps term to date. No President has ever gotten this much invective aimed at him. Shame on the Elitists in the Democratic Party and shame on the Clintons for not just accepting the fact that SHE LOST!!! And just going about their nefarious “Clinton Foundation” who’s benefactors include most of America’s enemies. I leave you with two words “Jeffery Epstein” Why are they not in Jail?

  2. Skip to Act III where the heroe of the story rides into the sunset and into another four years!

  3. Comedic relief to a big headache

  4. We had a brawl in aisle 3 at the Kroger fighting over the last box of popcorn!😂😂😂😂

  5. Leigh Ann Erdman | November 16, 2019 at 5:54 am | Reply

    You mean this is a satire article? Say it isn’t so? Eye-roll and head shake for those who have lost their senses of humor.

  6. Oh, I know I’ll be eating plenty of popcorn during these proceedings! Watching the Republicans squirm and being unable to defend their boss is like reading a satisfying book or a watching a good romantic comedy. It makes me feel good inside!

  7. The sad thing is that most Americans know so little about our Constitution they don’t understand that Impeachment is the process of gathering evidence as to whether a crime has been committed – not unlike a criminal investigation. What is found by the People’s Body aka the House of Representatives (if it feels there is sufficient evidence of wrongdoing) is given to the Senate to determine guilt or innocence. Hardly entertaining. I’ll save my popcorn for Netflix.

  8. Yaay my popcorn photograph is famous 🙂

  9. I’m using more popcorn because I’m watching more movies while all the political crap is on. 😉

    • Maybe if people like you understood all this “political crap”, this country wouldn’t be in the position it’s in, instead of watching all that “CRAP on TV, Just sayin’. 🤔

  10. Of course this is just a funny article and I would hope not taken seriously!

  11. Only a complete partisan would waste their time watching a sham like this

  12. Edward Williams | November 14, 2019 at 1:20 pm | Reply

    Listening and viewing this Kangaroo Court by the democratic coo is sickening for America

    • It is sickening. We are all tired of it and i’m pretty sure the president is too. It has turned into a 3 ringed circus and the ringmasters are absolutely crazy/demented fools.believe

  13. How could anyone take this as real? It just made me guffaw.

  14. Wait dammit! WTF? This ain’t real? Really?

  15. You realize, I’m sure that your headline will show up on Facebook and elsewhere and be taken for real.

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