As Hurricane Florence continues to cause havoc throughout North and South Carolina, there have been widespread requests for help – and also for Republican legislators who banned scientific studies of the dangers of rising sea level to take a load off.

“Wherever you are just go to street level and lie down flat, for about ten minutes.”

Democrats say there should be no reason for them not to do so, since by banning the studies they obviously had inside information that no such science was needed.

“You know best of course, now get down on the ground.”

All voters are being encouraged to take time out from building makeshift rafts to see if their political representatives were part of the effort to shut down the studies, and, if so, to invite them to hit the ground pronto.

“Don’t worry about the smell, that’s just pig manure and industrial run-off. And if you need help getting horizontal, just ask.”