New Education Secretary Uniquely Qualified To Understand America’s Stupidest Kids

Image credit:'Betsy DeVos - Caricature' by Flickr user DonkeyHotey license CC BY-SA 2.0.

Donald Trump’s nominee for Education Secretary, Betsy DeVos, has been confirmed in a nail-biter in which VP Mike Pence had to cast the tiebreaking vote.

While there was fierce opposition to DeVos, including two Republican defectors, many are now looking to the positive and voicing what they see as DeVos’s unique advantages.

“DeVos is expected to offer valuable insight into the experience of America’s most-poorly educated children whom the system has failed, as she enters her position with absolutely no grasp of education policy or clue as to how to gauge progress.”

Her single-minded obsession with school vouchers without any regard for broader policy is expected to provide her with unique insight into those about to enter the education system – also known as toddlers.

“Just like the new Secretary, my three-year old will doggedly pursue a dumb objective without any regard for the consequences and throw a tantrum if they don’t get their way.”

Though no-one can be sure what criteria Trump used when selecting his nominee, this could be an uncharacteristic stroke of genius.

“If the goal is to appoint somehow who fully understands the mindset of America’s dumbest, most poorly-educated child, we’ve hit the jackpot.”

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