Proving her indie credentials when it comes to facts are still intact, Kellyanne Conway has justified President Trump’s travel ban with claims of a massacre in Bowling Green, KY, in which no one got hurt because no explosion or attack ever took place.

However, far from backing down, Conway remains adamant that the massacre at Bowling Green, Kentucky, occurred as well as one in Bowling Green, Ohio – though in that instance the perpetrators were supposedly from Yemen.

Conway’s revelation is of especial concern to the United Kingdom, which has a huge number of bowling greens due to the popularity of the sport there, all of which have been – or are soon to be – the scenes of horrific massacres.

The danger is thought to even extend to places of bowling that are not greens, such as alleys and lanes, all of which are being shut down by executive order for the safety of the citizenry.

Additionally, people who smoke marijuana are being advised to roll up blunts instead of opting for a bowl, and eaters of cereal are being advised to get a croissant instead, or just skip breakfast altogether due to the high risk that an IED will take your head off.