“I Did Not Say These Words I’m Uttering Right Now” Claims President

After claiming he never said the Russians didn’t meddle in the election that brought him to power, Trump upped his game even further today.

“I did not say these words I’m uttering right now. Believe me.”

The shocking declaration, in which the President appeared to fuse a statement and the denial of said statement into one had political commentators calling up their college friends who are now in philosophy grad school for a quote.

“This takes lying to a heretofore unexplored meta-ist level that challenges the very foundations of epistemology. Can you buy me lunch? I’m starving.”

Trump later denied his denial of his denial.

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