Saying all law-abiding Americans have a right to defend themselves, the National Rifle Association has called for changes to the Second Amendment to constitutionally guarantee the right to mail pipe bombs in light of recent events.

“The only way to stop a bad guy with a pipe bomb is with a good guy with a pipe bomb.”

They argue that criminal elements like Cesar Sayoc are always going to obtain or make pipe bombs regardless of their legality, which is why they must be made legal.

“We must also make pipe bombs available in our schools.”

To facilitate this the NRA is calling for federal funds to train teachers to use pipe bombs to combat school shooters.

“We have talked to struggling gun manufacturers, who assure us they are ready and willing to meet the demand for pipe bombs as soon as the law allows.”