NSF Researchers Discover Thinnest Known Material During Visit By President Trump

(Brookhaven, NY) Materials scientists at one of the National Science Foundation’s research centers have announced the discovery of the world’s thinnest known material, which occured during a visit by President Trump. Staff scientist Richard Dupray, PhD, said the importance of the discovery cannot be underestimated.

“Developing the thinnest possible membranes is critical to the future of biotechnology, space science, and quantum computing.”

In a moment of remarkable serendipity, the discovery came when Trump grabbed a delicate laser interferometer he was asked not to touch and pointed it at himself.

“It gave a reading of less than one atom thick for his upper dermal layer, which is simply astounding.”

Scientists are keen to study the strange substance further in a bid to understand its properties.

“The Holy Grail is a material that is both exceptionally thin yet also exceptionally strong. Unfortunately this one breaks down when exposed to the slightest perturbation – it’s that fragile.”

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