Obama Announces Mission To Send Greg Abbott To The Moon And Leave Him There

We choose to do this not because it is hard but because it is easy. Very easy.

[The White House] Invoking the optimistic spirit of another young President, Barack Obama today directed NASA to embark on an historic mission to land a man on the moon, and leave him there.

“It is my intent to send a man to the moon before the decade, or week, is out – and that man is Texas Governor Greg Abbott.”

The grand announcement set off a wave of enthusiasm among the American populace, second only to that seen in the 1960s when JFK made a similar pledge, though in that case with the intent of returning the astronauts safely to Earth as well.

“We choose to send Greg Abbott on a oneway trip to the moon because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win.”

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