Valentine’s Day is a time when restaurants are full with love-struck and not so love-struck couples out for a fine meal. With this not being any ordinary day, restaurateurs says tastes are different than usual, with diners being especially keen on any old crap.

“In summer fish is popular and in the fall we switch over to hearty stews. But on Valentine’s Day I make a point of serving any old crap.”

From the established gastronomic centers of New York City and Louisiana to newer entrants like the burgeoning Pittsburgh restaurant scene, the key to success is giving the customers what they want, which increasingly means inventive fusion cuisine and the finest cuts of grass-fed dry-aged beef.

“Or, if it’s Valentine’s Day, a filet of any old crap as long as we let them in the door.”

It’s also a time to remove distractions to allow couples to concentrate purely on each other. This means having fixed-price expensive menus of multiple courses of any old crap.

“At the end, we like to take the sting out of the check by offering an aperitif on the house. We decide what it is of course – which is any old crap still sitting dusty and unused behind the bar.”