Everyone knows young children can be picky eaters – especially Melanie Gables of Forest Hills, who couldn’t persuade her feisty six-year-old Gordon to eat his vegetables for love or money.
“I was so fed up. The news happened to be on and in my exasperation I barked at him that if he didn’t eat his vegetables the terrorists would win. He gobbled them right up!”
The tactic has proved so successful she suspects he is being exposed to a lot more news and politics that what he sees at home, but whatever the source it’s certainly making life easier.
“All I know is he stopped listening to me from the age of two, but he now seems to have a very keen appreciation of the threat fundamentalist Islamic terrorism presents to liberal democracy.”
Since the discovery Melanie has grown used to invoking ISIS – or Daesh as Gordon prefers to call them – as a motivation for keeping order in the home.
“But I was a little shocked when he asked if the evil militants were planning to throw more boys who like other boys off rooftops.”
The question left Melanie speechless, and it took a while before she could adequately respond to the highly inquisitive second-grader.
“Yes – unless you pick up all your toys right this minute.”