Pastor Joel Osteen Recalls Time He Nearly Drowned In Flood Of Cash

Seeking to show he understands what the Houston flood victims are going through, Pastor Joel Osteen has shared the story of a time he was nearly drowned after cash came in faster than his religious organization could handle.

“If it had all been in high-denomination bills it would have been fine. But many of my followers only have twenties, tens or even fives to spare. That may not sound like a lot, but when millions of believers are giving at the same time it adds up.”

It happened despite the fact that Osteen had planned for this very scenario by establishing giant cash reservoirs that could be used to ease the pressure in a dangerous situation.

“I purposely drained them by buying myself more homes and private jets, but they kept filling up again just as fast.”

Even the best-laid plans can come undone in times of crisis warns Osteen.

“You become overwhelmed and before you know it the cash is up to your neck.”

Osteen says he still feels traumatized by the event to this day, and seeing what is happening in Houston brings back painful personal memories of his own brush with death. He asks that his flock pray for him, and also requests that they help him out in a more tangible earthbound way.

“You know what to do.”

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