Patriots Promise To Not Cheat Using Methods They’ve Been Caught At

In advance of the AFC Championship game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the New England Patriots, Quarterback Tom Brady has spoken out about concerns over cheating.

“We will definitely not be cheating using any previously uncovered methods.”

Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin said he wasn’t taking any chances, and has prepared for all past methods of cheating being employed, despite assurances from the Patriots that they have their pride and will find new ways to illegally turn the game to their advantage.

“We’ve been practicing with balls that are totally devoid of air all the way up to balls inflated to the point of bursting, and assume all our plays are known to the opposition. But hopefully they will stay true to their word and find new ways to cheat.”

Patriots Coach Bill Belichick said it was a matter of honor that they find new ways to flout the rules for this matchup.

“It is unsporting to continue to use a particular cheat once you’ve been found out, and we pledge not to do so.”

When asked why he didn’t try to win by not cheating at all, Belichick said he didn’t understand the question.

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