Pence Agrees To Have Head Placed On Pike To Serve As Warning To GOP Senators

Rumors that GOP Senators were being warned that voting against the President in the Impeachment trial would result in their head being ‘placed on a pike’ appeared to be confirmed today as the head of the Vice President was mounted outside the US Capitol building.

“It’s been precisely positioned so Susan Collins can always see it from her desk.”

The gesture was said to be the brainchild of Pence himself, who suggested it to President Trump to let Republican senators know he was serious. Trump agreed and paid tribute to his most loyal servant.

“To say there is nothing my Vice President wouldn’t do for me is an understatement. You’re a great guy, Mike!”

People who have seen the severed Pence head say it has an eerie quality that is very hard to look at.

“Just like when it was attached to his body in other words.”

Though such a procedure would normally be fatal, doctors are confident they can put they Vice President back together again once the trial is over.

“He’s not like you or I. He keeps on going no matter what.”

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3 Comments on "Pence Agrees To Have Head Placed On Pike To Serve As Warning To GOP Senators"

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