Pence Demands To Know Sex Of Flag Before Hugging It At CPAC

Though the enduring image of CPAC 2019 is President Trump hugging the American flag, Vice President Mike Pence was supposed to have done the same during his speech to help fire up the crowd.

However the Vice President refused to do so until someone could confirm the sex of the flag.

“We’re not sure, Mister Vice President. It’s a flag.”

Pence said he couldn’t possible engage in such an intimate act without first being certain the flag wasn’t female.

“Even then I would still need reassurance that it was a heterosexual flag.”

Later President Trump had no such qualms as he groped the flag with abandon.

“I think I heard him call it Ivanka?”

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