Following criticism for not wearing a facemask during a visit to the Mayo Clinic, Vice President Mike Pence said today there was a good reason why he didn’t use the N95 medical grade mask he was provided with.

“I understand they don’t work properly if you have a beard.”

Pence added that he knows one solution is to get rid of your beard, but confessed he couldn’t bring himself to do so.

“I can’t do that to Mother after all these years!”

In any case, he explained, there was very little risk of him infecting anyone else even without a mask.

“I’m tested very regularly and there’s also the fact that I’m not actually human.”

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