Pharmaceutical titan Pfizer, maker of one of the world’s leading COVID vaccines, has released an oral COVID vaccine, Ivermectan, available exclusively as a Tide Pod. Lead scientist Jessica Upend, Ph.D., said the decision to adopt the unusual delivery method was based on what they believed would be most effective in a real world scenario where vaccine hesitancy is rampant.
“We were already at work on an oral vaccine in pill form when our market research revealed a Tide Pod formulation was the way to go.”
Similarly, the name IVERMECTAN was chosen to subconsciously appeal to those who have hitherto refused to take the freely available injectable vaccines already in pharmacies nationwide.
“There’s a large untapped market out there, but it’s one for which conventional arguments like ‘this vaccine is extremely safe and will save your life’ don’t work. But this demographic will happily consume something if they think it’s a Tide Pod or a horse de-wormer.”
Sadly, however, the Pfizer team doesn’t believe it will reach everyone even with this new targeted approach.
“We’d like to do more but unfortunately we haven’t come up with a drug that can cure stupid. Only COVID can do that.”