Physicists Warn Trump And Palin On Same Stage Exceeds Critical Mass Of Stupidity

[Los Alamos, NM] Nuclear scientists at the Los Alamos National Laboratory have issued a desperate warning after Monte Carlo simulations predicted that Sarah Palin and Donald Trump on the same stage constituted a potential critical mass of stupidity.

“This is a stochastic process, so just because they didn’t go critical today, doesn’t mean it won’t happen the next time they are that close to one another.”

Though Palin by herself is near critical mass under the right conditions, during the 2008 Presidential election John McCain acted much like the control rods in a nuclear reactor, which slow down the stream of neutrons or dumb ideas that can lead to a self-sustaining chain reaction.

“But when he made a show of suspending his campaign over the financial crisis, we nearly had the most serious nuclear disaster since Three Mile Island.”

This time they say the situation is exponentially more dangerous, as Palin and Trump each have enough fissile material to make a weapon of fearsome stupidity.

“If they do go critical, there could be a devastating explosion of megatons of bullshit such as the globe has never seen.”

The potential destruction is unthinkable, which everyone within a blast radius that encompasses the entire continental United States likely to be rendered permanent imbeciles.

“All it would take for Armageddon to be unleashed is for Trump to say something like Hillary’s bathroom breaks are disgusting at the same time that Sarah Palin says pretty much anything.”

For now they suggest that anyone who has been exposed be scrubbed down and made to watch PBS NewsHour until normal levels of intellect return.

“North Korea may claim they have the H-bomb, but this threat is far more real.”

4 Comments on "Physicists Warn Trump And Palin On Same Stage Exceeds Critical Mass Of Stupidity"

  1. Iagree will not say much more as they will wipe me out.

  2. Rob Litchfield | January 21, 2016 at 8:21 pm | Reply

    Every serious minded American citizen should be terrified over the prospect of being ruled by the immaturity and mind boggling stupidity of the Trumps and Palins of the world! This is no joke! We are becoming more and more “dumbed down” as a nation, clearly. From where will we find enough of the Elizabeth Warrens, Robert Reich’s and Bernie Sanders’s to fill the halls of Congress? People who truly care about serving our country, the common man and the Middle class? Although Hillary Clinton may not be as blatantly evil as today’s Republican candidates, she has clearly aligned herself with Wall Street’s blood money and will be indebted to them, not the dwindling Middle class and workers! Sen. Sanders appears at the perfect time to lead us away from the grasp of Corporate Government and into a sane world of Democratic Socialism where we learn the art of caring for each other! By the end of Bernie’s second term, we will see what a fantastic country we are on the way to becoming! We will see new highways, schools, bridges, parks, a health care system paid for by the now obscene Corporate profits! Our workers will earn a DECENT pay scale which will find its way into many local, small and medium size businesses. Our colleges will be FREE and affordable where they are not FREE! Businesses which choose to relocate in another country will lose the benefits of being American based. Citizens United will be ended because Corporations are NOT people! These are only a very few of the changes for the better that we will experience under Pres. Sanders; there is so much more! It will, imho, be the end of voting for “the lesser of two evils!” NO MORE OF THAT INSANITY! Then, comes Elizabeth Warren who will stay on course to add so much more to what Bernie will have begun! Thank you!

  3. Control rods are not made of carbon, but boron, which rhymes with moron – as in these two.

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