Pittsburgh Fans Urged Not To Throw Penguins On Ice During Game Six

Following a second provocation in which a Nashville fan threw a catfish onto the ice in PPG Arena, travelling Pens fans have been urged not to respond by throwing penguins on the ice of the Bridgestone Arena during game six.

Fortunately, Penguins fans have thus far shown respect for the delicate creatures their team is named after, though some argue that merely reflects the difficulty involved in obtaining them which would involve crossing the Equator.

Nashville fans contend that if Wholey’s carried penguins they would be carpeting the ice down in Tennessee, however Wholey’s say no-one has gotten in touch with them seeking the flightless bird and that Pens fans would never do such a terrible thing.

When asked if they’ve been selling any catfish to people with a southern accent, the fish vendor responded ‘no way in hell’.

NHL officials are especially sensitive about the issue, following a highly unfortunate incident during the 2013 Stanley Cup Finals in which some Boston Bruins fans attempted to intimate the Chicago Blackhawks at United Center.

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