The Pittsburgh Steelers have announced they have executed a 99 year lease of veteran linebacker James Harrison’s body which they say will be key to the team’s prospects over the next eight decades.
“This is a football player with exceptional longevity.”
Though normally reserved for real estate deals involving structures that last for centuries, the Rooneys decided to approve the unusual agreement in order to secure the long-term services of Harrison in a competitive market.
“We simply weren’t comfortable knowing another franchise could get hold of this pivotal player during the next 2 to 80 plus years.”
With regards to a contract extension, head coach Mike Tomlin said he expected the organization would only be offering a year-to-year contract once 2116 rolls around.
“We’ll be adopting a wait-and-see approach, at least whoever is still alive then will be.”