As Pittsburgh struggles to recover from the horrific events of Saturday morning, Federal officials have informed the Peduto administration that a dangerous member of the Alt-Right may be making his way to the area as soon as Tuesday.
“He is very well protected, so do not attempt to approach him under any circumstance.”
They emphasize the need to be highly wary of this individual, whom they have been keeping very close tabs on for some time now.
“Signs that he is in the vicinity are unpaid contractor bills and a trail of burger wrappers.”
Though he is generally transparent in his extreme beliefs, they warn that he may trick vulnerable people by expressing condolences.
“He is cunning in his way, and has been known to say some kind words in situations like this, before turning around and tacitly endorsing violence.”
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