With temperatures almost in the sixties just days after the City was literally frozen shut, the Pittsburgh Weather has finally agreed it needs help.

“Clearly I am not well.”

Following an examination by qualified medical experts, a diagnosis of bipolar order was handed down.

“The classic symptom of extreme behavioral changes in a short space of time is very apparent.”

Though the illness can often have a genetic component, that is not believed to be significant here.

“In this case we suspect environmental factors are wholly responsible.”