Pittsburgh Wins Again By Topping List of Worst Drivers

Vintage jagoff preparing to execute a Pittsburgh Left.

The City of Pittsburgh – which everyone knows loves to win whether it be at sports or anything else – has come out ahead again. In this case it’s a survey by insurer All State of the cities with the worst drivers. Locals put the stunning victory down to a combination of difficult roads, bad signage and short tempers.

“First we win most livable city and now we are also the most horrendous operators of motor vehicles. Rock that Burgh!”

Though there were a number of other cities that were Pittsburgh’s equal in many aspects of bad driving behavior – including a healthy dislike of cyclists – what catapulted the Steel City above all other contenders was its innovation in specialist bad driving techniques.

“Any city can drive badly, but only we develop our own unique jagoff maneuvers like the famed Pittsburgh left. That’s the mark of a true winner.”

It’s also the win that keeps on winning, according to the Mayor, as it’s led to local investment like Uber’s self-driving car technology park.

“They picked us on basis that if they develop a model that can survive here, it can survive anywhere.”

1 Comment on "Pittsburgh Wins Again By Topping List of Worst Drivers"

  1. Barbara Drummond | June 30, 2016 at 6:54 am | Reply

    I learned to drive in Pittsburgh 55 years ago. Drivers have gotten a lot worse since then, but they still can’t compare to drivers in Massachusetts and New Hampshire for sheer idiocy. (I live in MA.)

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