Pittsburghers Decry New Bike Lanes “We’re Still Learning To Drive The Old Roads”

Bike lanes are popping up all over Pittsburgh, and not without controversy, with critics saying it is unrealistic to expect city residents to adapt to a new road system when they are still in the early stages of learning how to drive properly on the old system.

“Yinz can nawt change things when we’ve only had several decades to learn how to drive correctly on the current roads n’at.”

Many also objected to the information that has been put out about the new lanes, saying it is simply not comprehensive enough.

“Education needs to start with the basics – such as defining terms like ‘bicycle’. Otherwise this Stiller fan is lost before he’s even started!”

The change is expected to be particularly hard on the city’s older residents, who are still reeling from trying to understand the explanation they were given as to what UBER is.

“I just have two questions: What is an ‘app’, and what is a ‘taxicab’?”

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