The den of politics and inequity that is Washington, DC, is in awe of a new player in their midst today, after a namesake of the President gave a masterclass in how to neutralize the mercurial leader of the United States during his State of the Union address.

“It’s the very simplicity of his ruthless tactics that makes them so brilliant.”

Failed Republican candidates were quick to praise the newest political operator on the scene, with Jeb Bush saying he wished he had displayed such cunning during the primary debates.

“Instead of getting angry at being called “Low Energy”, I should have dialed my metabolism down even lower and taken a nap while Trump looked like the idiot he is for all to see!”

Kim Jong-un, who is to meet Trump again soon, has also taken note of developments, and is practicing staying up late so he can fall into a deep slumber at will.

“I will win this arms race of who can be most unconscious and disinterested.”