A politician, who asked not to be named, had a moment of panic this week when he realized he wouldn’t be able to send thoughts and prayers to Annapolis after the mass shooting there.
“I forgot to do it straight away and then lost cell phone reception so was unable to send thoughts and prayers like I usually do after every shooting.”
Just as he has dutifully sent thoughts and prayers to every mass shooting beforehand, sometimes sending them multiple times a week, he hoped to do so this time, but was stuck in the wilderness on a hunting trip.
“I was so worried about how they would get through this without my heartfelt thoughts and prayers.”
But as he watched the TV coverage once he reached a local tavern, the self-described Patriot realized his not sending thoughts and prayers had made absolutely no difference.
“If anything it may have helped by not pissing off survivors with yet another meaningless self-serving gesture!”
He says is already looking forward to the next mass shooting in July when he will show how much he has evolved in his thinking by not sending any thoughts or prayers.
“Who knows? Someday – in addition to not sending thought and prayers – I may actually do something constructive about gun violence!”